The Paranoia called "Sale"

The Paranoia Called Sale

With the “Sale” season everywhere, my weekends are much more stereotypical than I would like. I end up shopping for the entire year or enough to last till the next “Sale”. A regular Saturday or Sunday which would’ve otherwise been utilized to nurse my aching body after the grueling work week suddenly becomes a Compulsory Shopping Day. My husband doesn’t care two hoots about this for two reasons – one: he never accompanies me during my needless and mindless shopping escapade and two: he believes in the world of equality way too much. So much so that he refuses to pay my bills stating I am an independent and self-righteous woman!

Once you enter the mall or the departmental store from where you intend to shop during the SaleMania, the scenes that meet you there are downright hilarious. It’s one of the best places to observe and enjoy as you see this mishmash of people misconstrue the word “Sale” for the word “Free”. From the sidelines in the store what I end up experiencing is this:

• What I like either doesn’t fit me or doesn’t look good on me or is expensive. Worse, it’s not on Sale.
• Trying to look for the second T-shirt which when clubbed with the first one would give me the additional 10% off which I Oh-so crave. Remember the Buy 1 and get 20% off and Buy 2 and get 30% off.
• The super long queues leading up to the trial rooms which make me question my sanity as to why I chose to shop today.
• The ladies and gentlemen in the trial room who try each and every garment. No they don’t just try the outfits, they come out and give a few vanity poses to their family member/friend sitting out; much to the dismay of the people waiting for their turn. I breathe fire during the wait only to do the same when the roles are reversed.
• Those men who wait by the couches in the nondescript areas. It’s the look on their face that has empowered me to excuse my husband from these adventures.
• Observing the kids have a field day. Pulling clothes, running around, young boys strutting their stuff in high heeled sandals. Heck. Last week I saw this kid trying to figure out how to wear a bra in the middle of nowhere.
• The kid’s trial room on a different floor is occupied only by adults.
• The men hovering in the ladies lingerie section with sheepish looks. And their female counterparts who don’t understand it might get uncomfortable for some of the other ladies out there.
• The Men’s section where the price of the formal shirts post discount are still enough to burn a hole in my pocket.
• The least visited section during a sale – Perfumes and Fragrances anyone?
• The loyalty program cards and benefits that they bulldoze me with.
• The never ending billing line. Where the cashiers sometime don the hats of packers and the packers are off somewhere to search for the missing product codes.

With the presence of E-commerce, most of us have definitely shifted a part of our purchases online. A few of these websites definitely offer higher discounts than the standard “Upto 51% off” that these large format retail stores have to offer.  But the exuberance of visiting these stores for the maddening shopping experience will always hold a special place in our hearts.