The Paranoia called "Sale"

The Paranoia Called Sale

With the “Sale” season everywhere, my weekends are much more stereotypical than I would like. I end up shopping for the entire year or enough to last till the next “Sale”. A regular Saturday or Sunday which would’ve otherwise been utilized to nurse my aching body after the grueling work week suddenly becomes a Compulsory Shopping Day. My husband doesn’t care two hoots about this for two reasons – one: he never accompanies me during my needless and mindless shopping escapade and two: he believes in the world of equality way too much. So much so that he refuses to pay my bills stating I am an independent and self-righteous woman!

Once you enter the mall or the departmental store from where you intend to shop during the SaleMania, the scenes that meet you there are downright hilarious. It’s one of the best places to observe and enjoy as you see this mishmash of people misconstrue the word “Sale” for the word “Free”. From the sidelines in the store what I end up experiencing is this:

• What I like either doesn’t fit me or doesn’t look good on me or is expensive. Worse, it’s not on Sale.
• Trying to look for the second T-shirt which when clubbed with the first one would give me the additional 10% off which I Oh-so crave. Remember the Buy 1 and get 20% off and Buy 2 and get 30% off.
• The super long queues leading up to the trial rooms which make me question my sanity as to why I chose to shop today.
• The ladies and gentlemen in the trial room who try each and every garment. No they don’t just try the outfits, they come out and give a few vanity poses to their family member/friend sitting out; much to the dismay of the people waiting for their turn. I breathe fire during the wait only to do the same when the roles are reversed.
• Those men who wait by the couches in the nondescript areas. It’s the look on their face that has empowered me to excuse my husband from these adventures.
• Observing the kids have a field day. Pulling clothes, running around, young boys strutting their stuff in high heeled sandals. Heck. Last week I saw this kid trying to figure out how to wear a bra in the middle of nowhere.
• The kid’s trial room on a different floor is occupied only by adults.
• The men hovering in the ladies lingerie section with sheepish looks. And their female counterparts who don’t understand it might get uncomfortable for some of the other ladies out there.
• The Men’s section where the price of the formal shirts post discount are still enough to burn a hole in my pocket.
• The least visited section during a sale – Perfumes and Fragrances anyone?
• The loyalty program cards and benefits that they bulldoze me with.
• The never ending billing line. Where the cashiers sometime don the hats of packers and the packers are off somewhere to search for the missing product codes.

With the presence of E-commerce, most of us have definitely shifted a part of our purchases online. A few of these websites definitely offer higher discounts than the standard “Upto 51% off” that these large format retail stores have to offer.  But the exuberance of visiting these stores for the maddening shopping experience will always hold a special place in our hearts.

My LipStick Confessions

So, I’m 27 years old. Having spent a major part of my growing up process as a tomboy, I was blissfully oblivious to the joys of trying to look good and dress up. The only makeup items to have ever accessorized my shelves back then were a black kohl and black nail polish. Yes, I had a bit of a rebellious streak. Weddings and other allied functions used to be occasions that scared the daylights out of me.  When the entire ladies clan around me used to come out in the choicest hues, all that I could seemingly manage was a lip balm to add to my personality.

It wasn’t until I got into my first job in 2009 that I realized that dressing up played a role in perceptions. A prim looking lady walking into work definitely garnered more attention. I could have been wrong there but that was what I believed back then to be true.

Whilst I was trying to align myself to this new found discovery, I started with the regular make up collectibles. In spite of knowing most of the must-haves in a beauty kit, I still had to go around looking for the right ones. Right from a no-show foundation to a natural blush to a super concealer to a clump free mascara … to the perfect lipstick! Although most men will never notice that nuances that each one of these bring to the look as a whole, most girls definitely notice the perfectly winged contour an eyeliner achieves. While each of these items have their own character, at any given time it’s unlikely that a girl just owns more than one of any of these things except the lipstick.

I sort of unearthed the greatest secret to a successful makeup routine or so it seemed! It didn’t matter how evenly my foundation was applied or how perfect my eye shadow looked, without a lipstick my face looked naked. Half an hour of all the other activities sang harmoniously only with that one dash of color. It got me thinking. So the next time onwards all I concentrated was on getting that color right.

Some Lipstick observations here:

•  Not one color suits all

•  What suits her might not suit you

•  Almost everything looks good on the fair skinned ladies out there.Yes!Lipsticks are biased!

•  You might have a collection of twelve but you keep going back to the same two. One that looks good during the day and one that suits the night

•  You keep a track of the same lipstick shade for months or years depending on the frequency of usage only to go back to the store to realize that the brand has discontinued that one. And the heavens come crashing down!

•  That feeling when the color you thought looked fab while trying the tester under the perfect store lighting looks drab once you are back home.

•  Good ones cost a fortune.

•  There is nothing like the perfect nude for everyone.

•  The matte ones almost always look classier.

During my conversations with families and girlfriends, my faith in these beliefs only got stronger.

My aunt once said, “I've known this lipstick longer than I've known most of my trusted aides. Longer than I've known my husband. Longer than I’ve known how to cook.”

A friend of mine quoted ” I remember the very first lip color I ever truly loved. I was in high school. It was a lip gloss by Lakme. There was something about the nude pink with hints of brown in it that called out to me. It was so vampy and it shined like glitter. Never felt good when my hair got stuck in it.”

All that I have deciphered is that some look too pink, and others too peach. What suits me is the nude by the day and bright red by the night. It the only thing that makes my bare face pop!

Mumbai Rains bring to life the spirit of Mumbai

Mumbai woke up to torrential rains this morning and just like it happens every year the maximum city was scampering for cover. Flooded roads and water logged railway tracks. Overcrowded trains that halt in the middle of nowhere, fewer buses that are jam-packed and auto and cab guys who just zoom past (they don’t even want to listen to where you want to go) makes travelling to your destination a harrowing experience.

My experience on this rainy day today was a wee bit different though. I stay about 3.5km from my work place. As usual I left home at 7.45am to make it to work on time . I got out of my housing society in search for an auto. While I was getting drenched in this search and getting refused by around 20 such autowallas, I knew exactly how this was going to turn out. A cranky me waiting for another one hour, getting pissed at the whole world and eventually reaching work physically and mentally exhausted. I thought of taking the metro but when I came across a sea of water standing in the way I just dropped that plan and continued with my search of the quintessential autowalla. While this drama of getting rejected by autowallas was already an hour into it, I just heard someone say “Madam, aapko kahaan jaana hai?”.

Looked around, saw this man peeping through the auto blinds (Mumbaikars would know: during the monsoons  most of the autos here are flanked by blinds on both sides of the passenger seats that help the passengers stay dry). He was not on the driver’s seat. Sitting behind and completely wet, the man asked me for my destination again. I said “Sangam Talkies”. Without thinking twice, he replied “Aa jaaiye aapko drop karte huye office chala jaaunga”. The autowalla protested but the man persisted.

In this 20 minute auto ride with him, I realized that his office was in a completely different direction than mine. It would take him another half an hour to reach his destination.  With the continuous phone calls that he was getting, I could make out he was getting late to work. I saw the roads were flooded. The autowalla says” Madam hamare auto kharaab ho jaate hai Baarish mein.” Put things into perspective for me. While I cursed the auto guys all along, this was a very valid argument for refusing to ply(atleast for today). After reaching my destination, I thanked them both. Told the Samaritan “Aajkal anjaano ko help karnewale bahut kam milte hai.” He replied “Madam ab toh aap mujhe Sharminda kar rahi ho”.

Here’s presenting Ravi (the passenger/Samaritan) and Mahesh(the autowalla) : Heroes of my Story. 

P.S. They agreed to a photo-op at the end of the ride.

Despite all the problems in this city, all hope is not lost. There still are people like these keeping Mumbai alive. 

Solving the Work Life Balance Equation

That constant feeling of dissatisfaction is what had started bothering me. It didn’t matter how hard I tried, with each passing day the bar seemed to be set either too high or I was just not upto the mark. I have always thought of myself as being a conscientious worker and a positive person but this phase was just making me doubt my own capabilities. It had started affecting my attitude, my way of approaching things, from being an eternal optimist to being defensive about every small lil thing that was intruding in this personal space of mine that was contributing to me being miserable at all times. My Eureka moment i.e. the day I realized I needed to get out of this mess : was when I failed to appreciate the good things happening to people who mattered to me.

I call this phase of my life as the “My life is  Screwed Phase”.  In short, it’s a phase where you just can’t seem to handle the responsibilities that work , taking care of financial responsibilities and managing a home seem to bring with them together.

It is something most of us go through but refuse to acknowledge. So how do you go consciously go about making life easier for yourself.

• Recognize the need for Self Appreciation: This is one of the most crucial things and often the most neglected one. No one can make you better if you choose to devote yourself to the downward spiral. Be happy and see value in the things you do. It would be difficult to start with but a genuine attempt at it will bear meaningful results over time. It could be as simple as sitting down with a friend and asking him/her about 5 good things that he/she sees in you. Every time you use one of these qualities to do or achieve something in your professional or personal life, give yourself a pat on the back.
• Accept the fact that you can’t please everybody: Even a high flying executive making truckloads of money would have to go back home to a family who would crib for want of adequate time. So realize which phase of life you are in and accordingly attach precedence to work or family.
• Go out and take help from people/tools that make life easier: This one is especially for all the ladies out there. If having a maid at home who cooks and cleans after you would mean that it eases out your stress for that one hour, please go ahead and make that choice. No – You don’t have to feel guilty about her taking care of things at home, definitely not because it’s supposed to be your “moral responsibility”.You could use the benefits of e-tailing by shopping for groceries online.It would mean spending some quality time doing things you like over the weekend rather than spending a few frustrating hours in departmental store queues.
• Steer away from comparisons: No two people are alike. Neither do they have the same circumstances. We need to realize that no one else wears the same shoe so why waste time and effort in making meaningless comparisons. For all I know, we always tend to compare ourselves with people who are in a better position than where we are. If it’s a motivating factor for you, don’t cease to continue. But for a majority, it tends to be a benchmark which they wish to achieve and in the process tend to be unhappy about the things they miss out on.
• Make time for yourself: This will give you time to unwind and it won’t make you feel like you are constantly moving from one task to the next. Spend this time in doing things you like. You could read a book, hit the gym, join a dance class or anything that ensures that your “me” time freshens you up.
• Look at what you have achieved rather than what you couldn’t make time for: The day you couldn’t make time for your kids sports meet, you probably cracked a big deal at work. Don’t be harsh on yourself. Look at the positive aspect. Let go and make peace with yourself.
• Travel: Its enriching. Meeting new people, experiencing different cultures and the novelty of changing landscapes rejuvenates you. It broadens your perspective and makes you realize the importance of small pleasures of life.
• Don’t associate happiness with material things: Because there is no upper limit. And most of it is not need based.
• Learn to say no:  Say no to things you don’t want to do. Say no to things that make you unhappy. Say no to people you don’t wish to interact with.

Picking up a few of these would definitely go a long way in beating the blues and maintaining your sanity. I would encourage you to leave your feedback and add onto the list of things that have helped you to handle stress and maintain the perfect work life balance.

Coming to blogging....

Hi Guys,

Saw most of my pals doing it....always thought how come ppl have so much to share with the world....but realised that these days...sitting with a pen n paper and jotting down ur thoughts has become a goner..  we have started beleiving in this genre of blogging....whatever u do today...needs to be shared...u feel the need to do so...I dunno y!!....seems weird but true...Right from u not having a great start to the day because of a few things not going right in the loo the first thing in the morning....to getting married...the need for acknowledgement has gone high....is it that ppl are getting insecure in their own space or is it that the need for affiliation is growing...I really dunno....But whatever it is....Its a strong indication of changing times...

Love...
Stuti Chatterji...